Nobody likes breakups.
But what if you could have the last word?
A Facebook friend did just that recently when they posted this on their wall:
“Dear AMY, i knew you cheated on me for 2 weeks now and i still dated you, in those 2 weeks every time i have been at your house i wiped your toothbrush on my a——, eat s—… you’re dumped. (sic).”
If that’s not the best breakup revenge ever, I don’t know what is.
It reminds me a little of an Australian guy I met on my trip to Bali last month who told me he was on a holiday that was supposed to be his honeymoon.
He said he caught his best friend in bed with his fiancée whom he had dated for 12 years. Ouch.
After he called the wedding off, he decided he’d still go on the holiday — solo. He partied with lots of bikini-clad chicks all night, had a riot, and posted the pics on Facebook for her to see.
Good for him.
While those breakups taste of bitter sweet revenge, most breakup stories make ya wonder how the couple ever made it work.
So, in the spirit of not wanting to write some lame Valentine’s story, I thought I’d compile some breakup stories that’ll make ya laugh and say, suck it Cupid!
“My last boyfriend was a farm boy. Built, rugged, self-sufficient, and hot. But after I walked in on him peeing in my kitchen sink, it was over and I couldn’t wait to get out of that apartment.”“Last year I got a phone call at 2 a.m. from a guy I was dating saying, ‘Babe, you awake? I need you to come bail me out of jail.’ For what, you say? Soliciting a prostitute! Not only did this dirt bag get caught in an undercover police sting, but he had the nerve to call me, the girl he was dating, to bail him out. Lets just say I will never forget the expression on his face when I showed up to bail him out of jail…WITH HIS MOM! (sic)”
“My boyfriend was a serious mama’s boy who insisted on having dinner with his mom at least twice a week. During one of those dinners, his mom looked at me, took my hand and said, ‘We have to talk.’ I got really nervous and tried to catch my boyfriend’s eye, but he was just intently staring at his lap. She gently told me things weren’t working out between me and my boyfriend, and that she thought it was best for me to leave. I tried to convince my boyfriend to talk privately in the other room, but he wouldn’t respond. I couldn’t believe it—my pansy-ass boyfriend made his mom break up with me!”
“My guy was away on a business trip for about a month, and we had been video chatting to stay in touch. One night I had my girlfriends over, and after a couple bottles of wine, we decided to Skype him. Our call connected, and I was about to tell him to say hi to my friends when he goes, ‘Bev, I’m sorry to do this over Skype, but I don’t want to put it off any longer. I think we should just be friends.’ I was in total shock, and my friends just sat there with their mouths hanging open. I mumbled okay and got off as quickly as possible-I was dumped in front of all my best friends!“Source: Cosmopolitan.com