Every time I open up my Hotmail these days, I see the ad telling me to update my Hotmail web address. You know the one with the photo of the Goth chick or the tattooed dude, saying that your old address says a lot about who you were but not so much about who you are.

I would argue that some people don’t need to, especially that flabby senior woman I often come across on my commute home – the one with the purple hair with grey roots, wearing the long-ago-tight Iron Maiden tank top that shows off the dragon tattoo on the shoulder, and the now-droopy Capri pants cut just high enough so they don’t obscure the snake and thorny rose wrapping around her right calf and ankle.

Alas … some people have to put who they are right out there for the world to see. Some do it with flashy Italian high-performance cars; others, with flaming paint jobs on their choppers or their skin.

But I’m often left scratching my head what some vehicles, or their accessories, say about their owners/drivers.

For example, I passed a beige GMC pickup (doing the speed limit in the left lane with a long line of cars behind him and nobody in front or to the side … but that’s another rant for another day) with the lettering “Jesus is the answer. Trust in him” printed in plain black serif block lettering on the tailgate, doors and hood. Is that who told him to screw up traffic? Or, does he just want the message to be the last thing the driver of the car behind him sees, should he be involved in a violent crash?

Another example comes in the form of the Harley rider with the plain (although noticeably scuffed) white half helmet with several small stickers stuck to it. The one in the back said “Because I’m an A**hole. That’s why!” At least to his credit, it did explain why he was weaving in and out of the traffic conga line, and it would make an accident scene investigator quickly deduce how the crash came about.

On the humorous front, you can always tell the diehard Chevy or Ford pickup man thinks of the competition. They’re the ones with the cartoon character Calvin having a wizz on the other’s logo. But what are those moulded testicles hanging from the trailer hitch supposed to say about the driver/owner?

Reportedly, they’re a way of capitalizing on the “macho” image of pickup drivers, and you only have to Google the phrase to call up several images of burly trucker types straddling their truck hitches with their Truck Nutz dangling down. I wonder what Mrs. Proud Dangly Truck Owner thinks about the accessory when she’s driving the family truck?

But now there’s an internet rumour starting that these “accessories” are symbols of homosexuality, with the colours having different meanings. It’s probably a way of trying to discourage guys from hanging them on their pickups, but it still might be worth a second guess before slapping down your cash.

Listen to your Uncle Joe, kids: don’t do it! What’s fun today may have a totally different meaning of fun tomorrow – the type of fun you may not think so much fun when it comes around.