Where do you draw the line on in-person networking meetings? There comes a point when enough is enough. A professional has to respect his/her time and set some boundaries.

If you’re in business development mode, my recommendation is that you need 3 one-on-ones per week and one public event per week. In the beginning when you’re getting your feet wet and developing a network you may need to do more one-on-ones to create some momentum.  

While my business is in growth mode, my network is quite substantial. My blackberry has 5780 contacts as of this morning and my Linked In, Facebook and Twitter accounts are well over a thousand connections each. (Apparently my company’s Faceboook Fan Page could use some work. :) )

Of course some are duplicates, but even so, that’s a lot of people to manage in my mind and build relationships with. Can you imagine if I had in-person coffee with every person in my network? There would be no time left to run a company.

I don’t write this to say, “woowho, look at me”, but to give some context as to the conundrum I’m running into a lot lately and for a situation that has really annoyed me. Keep reading.

Like anyone, there are varying degrees of relationships within my network.

My business coach from the US is a multi-millionaire and she doesn’t even accept incoming phone calls because it interrupts her flow let alone schedule “get-to-know-you”-“no-agenda”in-person-meetings. She reserves all of her working time for paying clients.

While Sandi and I have different target markets and approaches to building our business, I’ve learned from her the value of protecting my time and that out of respect for my clients & my company I can’t continue to meet-up for no reason to play nicey-nicey. My compromise is that I will gladly have a virtual coffee with someone who I know or meet (an old-fashioned phone call) in an effort to see if there is enough of a connection to want to connect again and if there is a reason for an in-person meeting.  

That doesn’t mean I don’t have in-person meet ups but I’ve set some guidelines and priorities.

1)      Family & Close Friends.

2)      Potential and/or current corporate clients.

3)      Fellow volunteers with the same organizations.  

4)      Specific agenda items.  

5)      Because I committed to the meeting.

Oh and there is one more option – hot, single men between 35 and 43ish – always would make time for a potential suitor.

Anything less than that and I’m sorry, but why would we waste our time? So you can share with me your new venture? Well, if it’s not on a website where I can see it for myself or you can’t explain it on email/in a phone call, then you’re in the very early phases of business development and I guarantee you, you need advice. Knowing me, I’ll end up giving it during our coffee meeting – for free. That’s not fair to my clients.

Anytime I divert from growing the corporate arm of my business or enjoying my personal life, is time disinvested in my future.

So why then, do I get slack from people when I say no? Who are they to tell me – sometimes quite forcefully – how I should spend my time?

Recently, I was particularly annoyed by a situation…it’s one of many, but it’s a great example of why I set these rules.

A contact, whom I know through being out and about, have had lunch with years ago (and have barely heard from since) has started a new venture and has reached out for a catch up, self-admittedly with no agenda other than to bring each other up to speed.

Great, I thought, I would love to hear what’s going on in his world. Not because of any particular reason, just out of curiosity.  So when I got the request for a coffee, I went through the mental checklist.

Family? Nope. Close Friend? Nope. Corporate Client? Nope. Potential corporate client? Not likely. (sure everyone knows someone but I have laser like focus on my target market) Fellow volunteer? Nope. Specific agenda? Nope. Already committed. Nope. Young single man looking for a date? Nope.

OK, easy answer. No to in person, but a virtual coffee would work.

So I respond. The dialogue goes something like this.

Abbreviated response:

Great to hear from you; would love to catch up, my schedule is jammed, can we plan a virtual coffee instead?

His response: Abbreviated:

all things considered…prefer in person…no agenda, but working on a new project think you’d be interested in…I’m fine with mid-July. What works for you?

My response: Abbreviated:

Actually, I really have to be careful about protecting my time and have so much on my plate…(guilt inspired explanation that I don’t need to give but gave anyhow)…but would love to have a phone call to get caught up.

His response abbreviated:

That doesn’t work for me, in person or nothing.

My choice: Nothing!!

If you can’t respect that I don’t just have random hours to meet someone who I have no current relevant connection with other than wondering what he’s up to, then quite frankly, I don’t even have the phone call available. Why not say great, let’s start with a call and then we can find a time from there?

What are your thoughts? Was I wrong? Obviously I’m summarizing here – but would you have given in and gone to an in-person meeting anyhow? Is my decision off base? Would you expect someone you randomly connect with to drop everything and find an hour for you when there is no particular reason to connect except some ambiguous “am excited about my new business project and think you’ll be interested?” How do you handle this? Other than just ignoring because that’s just rude.