Grant Rants

Archive for the ‘The Dude’ Category

The Hitch: the world will be a much smaller place when he is gone

- March 8th, 2011

Finally a religion that really ties the room together

- February 9th, 2011

This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder’s head. Fortunately, I’m adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.  -The Dude

For anyone who has followed my work it comes as no surprise that I am not a exactly an ardent fan of religion. Have this aversion to accepting things without evidence, something that is a virtue in many religions. Thomas, I have argued elsewhere, had it right when he demanded some proof before he believed.

poster

The Dude Abides

Combine my distaste for the irrational with the abuses of power of religious organizations that purport to be the guiding light of the species….well, I’ll put it this way, it was a long road but several years ago I left faith in the rubbish bin with the disco and 1980s Transformers movie. (Have you seen that? It’s so bad, it might be worse than Glee.) Maybe as things go on, I might blog a bit more about letting go of religion…but that is, you know, just my opinion man.  Because I may have found a religion that really ties the room together.

I give you the Dudeism. Or Duderonomy. The Dude De Ching. Or the Church of the Latter-Day Dude if  you are not into the whole brevity thing.

This is an act of unmitigated brilliance. A religion based on the Big Lebowski. And if you have never seen this movie, well grab your bowling ball and get a life.

Of particular interest here is the list of commandments – well more like suggestions because, like, you just gotta take it easy man – that Dudeism promotes. The traditional ten commandments are downers, man. Don’t do this, don’t do that, worship me or else….it’s all so depressing and grim. But the text of Duderonomy, well, shoosh, it’s just the thing to allow a dude to abide. Here is a sampling:

Book 1:

1. Thou shalt always use fresh creamer when preparing the sacramental beverage. To ensure its freshness, it must be sniffed and even sampled before purchase. If it is unclean, put it back.

2. Ideally half-and-half shall be used in preparing the sacramental beverage. Failing this, milk, and under the most dire of circumstances, non-dairy creamer.

5. When discussing a matter of grave importance, or even of trifling idiocy, always make sure to employ expletives as much as possible to prove your heartfelt honesty and conviction. To ensure your dudeness, all out-of-control, manic discussions should be followed with entreaties to “just take it easy, man.”

10. When confronted by a large man with a gun who demands you mark it zero, oblige him. Otherwise you risk entering a world of pain. Ideally he will get his comeuppance from the League for contravening a number of its bylaws.

From Book 2:

5. Respect everyone’s point of view. It’s just, like, their opinion, man.

6. Always remember interesting turns of phrase that you hear so that you can employ them in completely unrelated situations later and convincingly sound as if you know what you’re talking about.

Words to live by, I think. The dude abides.