Grant Rants

Praise be to Jesus or, Zod!….cause he is on your pizza.

- April 7th, 2011

Greetings heathens, zealots, web denizens and the rest of you!

First let me explain that content on the Grant Rant blog will be a little lighter than usual until May 2 because I am busy doing federal election coverage. I will be posting content my election blog which you can find here. But no fear, I will still be around point out the stupid the burns.

Case in point, while I am on the subject, is this story out of the Land Down Under. Jesus, the purported savior of the world, made a cameo…in a pizza. Yup, it’s happened again. Someone looks at a blob of something and decides it’s a face and not only a face, but the face of the supreme ruler and creator of the entire universe. I have always found those who take this seriously extremely odd. I mean, read your Bible. This god fellow used to know how to make his presence known. Destroying entire cities, a talking burning bush (which would be HUGE in Vegas. Think about it.) walking on water, raising the dead…oh and don’t forget that whole global genocide/ecocide flood thingy. Today he is apparently reduced to appearing in melted cheese and bird droppings. Should to raise a question or two, huh? Past his prime I guess.

Although it is highly annoying that a news outlet once again decided to cover this kind non story – how pareidolia (the capacity of the human brain to find patterns where there are none such as ink blots or clouds or whatever)  – at least it doesn’t take the subject too seriously…even if it includes zingers like this from a Catholic proffessor:

We Catholics can have a laugh at this, but if that image leads you to a deeper level of faith, or just a sense that Jesus is part of your life, then it can’t be a bad thing,” he said. “Faith is best shared around a meal at the dinner table.”

Yes, lets find a way to praise the hysterical over reaction to NOTHING as a good thing.

Of course, as a friend of mine from Ottawa recently pointed out to me, the faith heads may have this entirely wrong. The truth could be far, far more sinister. The face on the pizza is not Jesus meek and mild, but rather the visage of General Zod, Kryptoian super-criminal and sworn enemy of Jor-El, Superman’s father. He is a rather unpleasant fellow, bent on making us all kneel as he rules the entire planet “Hu-ston.” With all that accumulated knowledge when will the dummy learn to use an atlas.

Still here is a side by side comparison of the Zod-pizza and the good general himself. You decide:

699420-jesus-in-a-pizza zod

Categories: News, religion, strangeness, the stupid it burns

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2 comments

  1. Don Fraser says:

    Looks exactly like my mini-calendar pic of Che Guevera I picked up at my Cuba resort!

  2. Jesus pizza says:

    JC DUgard.
    The gods don’t offer clues like this for nothing.
    Sexual prisoner? Shit was sick in the Mediterreanean. That flood happened there for good reason.
    Oh, whitey would be crushed. “Our whole LIVES?” Sound familiar?

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