Grant Rants

The Burning Stupid: Mock the Pope edition.

- January 10th, 2012

Greetings heathens, zealots, web denizens, and the rest of you!

I know I haven’t been been blogging much lately. There was the pre-holiday crazy, the during-the-holiday madness, the post-holiday blues, the post-post-holiday blues hangover,  and House MD marathon.

So I sat down this morning and figured it was time to return to the blog. What, but oh what, could I write about?

Turns out I didn’t have to look that far. After about three second of looking through Google news, I hit upon this fun story about the Pope claiming the future of humanity was in danger. What, you may ask, could threaten us as a species? Mecha Godzilla? The cast of Glee taking over the world? Zombie-robot apocalypse?

All good ideas, dear reader, but no. The thing that threatens our very existence on the planet is….dun dun duuun! GAY MARRIAGE.

Seriously. Pope Benedict is claiming that gay marriage is a threat to the species:

The pope made some of his strongest comments against gay marriage in a new year address to the diplomatic corps accredited to the Vatican in which he touched on some economic and social issues facing the world today.
He told diplomats from nearly 180 countries that the education of children needed proper “settings” and that “pride of place goes to the family, based on the marriage of a man and a woman.”
“This is not a simple social convention, but rather the fundamental cell of every society. Consequently, policies which undermine the family threaten human dignity and the future of humanity itself,” he said.

Let that little bit of burning stupid bounce around in you skull a bit. If it makes any sense to you at all, let me know.

I mean, there are things that could potentially threaten the future of humanity, like say the planet getting hit with a giant asteroid. Or the proliferation of nuclear weapons. Or our continued and careless misuse of our natural resources. Or the scarcity of clean water. Or growing global economic inequity. Theocratic governments with powerful weapons. Evolved bacteria resistant to our medications.

But the Cardinal of Rome has precious little to say about any of that. No, no, no. The real problem is two men, or two women, living together and getting the same tax breaks as a straight couple. Ooooh scary.thestupiditburns

When, by Odin, will this anti-gay marriage claptrap end. WHEN? Cause I have to tell you Popey, and the rest of the bigoted “gay marriage is s threat to everything” crowd, you don’t have an argument. You don’t even have something that smells vaguely like an argument. Calling this line of reasoning an argument is like looking at a gold brick and saying that it’s Saturn.

I have yet to hear an argument against gay marriage that made any sort of sense whatsoever. “My holy book says so,” isn’t an argument. If you are not gay, and don’t want to marry a gay person, you don’t have to! But to claim that civilization, nay, humanity itself, is threatened because of gay marriage is akin to Walter Ostanek opening for AC/DC. It’s INSANE. How does gay marriage threaten the future of humanity? Well, according to the Pope, it just does. QED.

Ugh. I need a bottle of aspirin here.

Yes, I know, you are going to claim, Mr. Pope, that you are just following what’s in the Bible, and if it is in the Bible, it totally cannot be bigoted right? I mean, it makes no sense that bronze aged texts written by people who whose sum total knowledge about the universe was nearly zero might contain unethical and immoral pronouncements about people who didn’t fit their social norms, right? Human moral and ethical reasoning could not have possibly grown and evolved over the last 2,000 years of civilization. That is just crazy talk, isn’t it?

Look, hiding behind ancient texts, and claiming those texts are the infallible word of a god no less, to attempt to strip people of their civil liberties and demonize doesn’t make them less cruel, less out of touch, less useless or less harmful. It’s just feeble reasoning that has no basis in anything other than old hates. That is all Ratzinger is doing. Keeping hateful ancient, narrow minded, memes alive.

(Oh and if anyone tries to say “hate the sin, love the sinner”, I might punch you. Or at least mock you until you weep.)

He doesn’t deserve respect because of his title. Nor because of group of gruesome old celibates voted him to be their leader. Nor because he presumes to tell the world what they should do in their private moments. Nor because he has the gall to try to tell democratically elected governments how best serve their citizens. His status as a “holy man” shouldn’t protect him from criticism.

So long as the Pope and his followers choose to demean and attack people whose only “crime” is choosing to commit to someone they love, he deserves nothing but barbed mockery until he decides to catch up with the rest of us who live in the 21st century.

Categories: Glee is evil, Isn't it absurd?, News, politics, religion

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1 comment

  1. ronnie says:

    Terrific! Well said.
    One might add that something that does threaten the human race is the epidemic of AIDs and other ills fostered by the prohibition on condoms.
    We’re pro-life! Help millions to die of AIDS!

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