Inside Jam

By now we’ve all heard Tiger’s voicemail message to one of his many mistresses… asking her to take her name off her phone because his wife might call her. However, you have never heard it like this! God, I love YouTube!! Just think of how much less we would laugh if the Internet hadn’t been invented.

THE TIGER WOODS DIRTY VOICEMAIL SLOW JAM REMIX

R. Kelly’s 9th studio album with the incredibly well thought out and original  title, “Untitled” came out today.  This is his first release since he wizzed through his infamous child porn trial last year… you know, the one where he was accused of giving an underage girl a golden shower. Yum.

Even though he was found not guilty on all 14 counts, will the R Kelly pee jokes ever go away? (And there are oh so many of them) I think not. He’s like the OJ Simpson of music now. Sorry Kells…. you will forever be the Prince of Pee Pee.

We make fun of Lindsay lohan, but that girl still has the power! The President of Ungaro announced this past week that she’ll stay on as Creative Director for the label. I’ll bet Linds is just as surprised as the rest of us. But of course, the label is choosing to “tawdrify” itself and insists that using the Lohan name will be of benefit to them in the future. The power of fame.

Roman Polanski. We haven’t talked about this on IJ lately, mostly cause the story is more creepy than funny: This week, A Swiss court approved Roman Polanski’s bail offer of $4.5 million in exchange for his release from jail and going under house arrest and electronic monitoring at his chalet in Switzerland. And that, my friends, is justice with a capital “J”…a view of the Alps and all the milk chocolate you can eat. The power of fame. And cash.

Fresh off his crotch snokelling (Thanks to Ryan Seacrest for inventing that phrase) performance at the American Music Awards on Sunday, American Idol runner-up (read: first loser) Adam Lambert was scheduled to perform on Good Morning America today. That however did not happen.

GMA obviously got scared that they would another racy performance on their hands and they pulled the plug on his performance…. which worked out just fine for CBS’s “The Early Show” who picked up the sloppy seconds. He ended up singing a different song from the one he sang at the AMA’s… which meant a lot less raciness, and a lot less pitchiness.

His interview about what went down (literally) at the AMA’s was very interesting… and he raises a very strong point when he says he wasn’t the only one with an “adult-themed” performance. Take a look at the link below.

ADAM LAMBERT ON THE EARLY SHOW

It’s a sad day in the Canadian music world… Jacksoul frontman, Haydain Neale has passed away at the age of 39.
There’s no question Haydain was one of the coolest guys in Canadian music. He was involed in a very serious car accident in 2007 and while he was recovering, they found lung cancer. On Sunday, he lost his battle… And the music world has lost a very talented and respected performer.

Yes, I am trying to look extra creepy in that pic.

So if you haven’t noticed already, I have been growing this moustache for the entire month of November so far, which means I am now on Day 23. Why would someone do that you might ask? Well, I’m glad you did ask…

I’m doing this for Movember, a moustache growing charity event held during November each year that raises funds and awareness for prostate cancer. This cause hits very close to home for me as both of my grandfathers had prostate cancer and beat it! Any donations would be great…. follow the link below to help out! Any help at all is appreciated!

MY MOVEMBER PAGE!

Have you ever wondered what does an entertainment host do on a daily basis? I know I sure have! If you have Twitter, follow me for all of my updates. Sometimes they are witty and/or funny. Sometimes, but not often.

@chrisvanvliet

Miley Cyrus’ tour bus was involved in a deadly crash this morning in Virginia… But fear not Hannah Montana fans, Miley is still alive!
14 people were on the bus when it drifted off the road and crashed, killing the driver. The Achy Breaky Daughter was not injured in the accident… in fact she wasn’t even on the bus, which means you’ll be hearing irritating ditties like “Party in the USA” for many years to come.

So I saw Twilight: New Moon at a press screening last night, which means I wasn’t deafened by the ear piercing screams of all the Twihards, it was just the members of the media there. Without giving a full review (You’ll have to wait until Inside Jam this Saturday @ 7pm) I will say this, it wasn’t as overdramatic or unintentionally funny as the first movie, but still, not very great and I imagine the reviews for this will not be overly favourable.

In any case, we all know Taylor Lautner put on 30lbs of muscle to reprise his role as Jacob Black for this movie… and there is no question they wanted him to show it off. Being the cunning journalist I knew they would do that, so I wanted to time just how much they would exploit his newfound physique. So I brought a stopwatch to the screening….

The movie’s running time is 2 hours and 10 minutes.

Taylor Lautner is in it for approximately 36 minutes… and for just over 12 of those minutes, he has no shirt on.

Which means for exactly ONE THIRD of his screen time, he is shirtless. There you go tweens… there you go.