REWIND: Bizarre Death And Mysterious Burial Of Hollywood Oscar Winner

- June 17th, 2013

 

The best-read Nosey Parker blog post ever — by a long shot — was a piece I did back in May 2011 called The Dog That Cornered Osama Bin Laden on the Navy SEAL war dog named Cairo. I think some very popular dog websites and discussion groups had posted prominent links to the piece, because there was massive readership of that piece for MONTHS. Years even. The story ended up being included in a book about war dogs.

Another 2011 blog post that’s been getting a lot of recent activity — much less than the Cairo piece, of course — is the one I’m rerunning here. Because of the Cairo phenomenon, I was curious if this piece on Gig Young was spiking again two years after it appeared because it was being pointed to by a special-interest network — on old Hollywood this time instead of dogs.

So I added a note at the end of the piece asking readers to tell me how they came to it. Turns out there was no organized promotion going on, just people who had been watching Gig Young movies on DVD or TV and then searching the Internet to find out more about the actor and his films.

There must be an awful lot of people looking at Gig Young movies and then reading the Nosey Parker blog post on him because a Google search for “Gig Young” gives you his Wikipedia entry first (of course) and then, in second spot, the Nosey Parker piece, ahead of even his IMDb link.

Although I’m repeating the blog post here, I’m also including this link to the story as it originally appeared back on March 2, 2011, for anyone who wants to check out the string of comments attached to it.

I’m doing this because I’ll be away for a couple of weeks and out of Internet contact, so I thought I’d leave something fairly interesting on this space while I’m gone. It’s a long piece too, so you can read it in two or three sittings if you’d prefer. Take your time. See you later.

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Almost nobody remembers Gig Young now, but 41 years ago he was the toast of Hollywood.

The Academy Awards for 1969 were presented on the evening of April 7, 1970, at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in Los Angeles.

It was the second year the Oscars were televised worldwide and it was also the second year there was no host — a brief interregnum between the Bob Hope era and most of the 1970s when hosting was done by committee (before one last hurrah for Bob Hope and the beginning of the Johnny Carson era).

Winning the Oscar for Best Picture was Midnight Cowboy, the only X-rated film in the history of the Academy Awards to win Best Picture.

John Wayne got the only Oscar of his career as Best Actor for his role of crusty Rooster Cogburn in True Grit and Maggie Smith won Best Actress as an eccentric Scottish teacher in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.

Goldie Hawn (in  one of those typical Oscar “huh?” decisions) got the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Cactus Flower.

And the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor goes to … Gig Young for his performance as Rocky, the sleazy and manipulative promoter of a Depression-era dance marathon in They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

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It was a popular choice in Hollywood, where Gig Young had established himself over the previous 30 years as a charming, genial party guy who often played the role of a charming, genial lush onscreen  — and on the Tonight Show couch as a frequent, amusing guest of Johnny Carson.

ComeFill

Young had been nominated for Best Supporting Actor twice before, for 1951′s Come Fill The Cup and 1958′s Teacher’s Pet, but the 1969 win was the pinnacle of his career — and the beginning of the end.

Actually the beginning of the end for Gig Young began with the birth of Byron Elsworth Barr in St. Cloud, Minnesota, on Nov. 4, 1913.

For most of the next three decades, Gig Young was Byron Barr, a charming, genial kid and aspiring actor.

According to most biographies, Byron was raised in Washington, D.C. (more about that later) before winning a scholarship at the end of high school to the famous Pasadena Community Playhouse in California, where he worked on his acting chops before being picked up as a contract bit player by Warner Bros. in the late 1930s.

The young actor was still known as Byron Barr — and got the occasional screen credit under that name — until his breakout role in 1942′s The Gay Sisters, in which he played a character named … Gig Young.

Warner Bros. decided “Gig Young” was a catchier name than “Byron Barr” (and — unbelievable as it may seem — there was another young supporting actor kicking around Hollywood at the time also named Byron Barr) so “Byron Barr” stopped being a charming, amiable second-string actor and “Gig Young” stopped being a movie character’s name.

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Gig Young, actor, then reverted to Byron Barr, pharmacist’s mate in the U.S. Coast Guard, for the duration of World War II.

When the war ended and Byron Barr returned to civilian life, Warner Bros. dropped his contract. But Byron Barr decided to keep his Warner Bros. stage name and Gig Young quickly became a solid, busy Hollywood presence in movies like Wake of the Red Witch, The Three Musketeers and Only the Valiant.

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In the mid 1950s he was hosting the television series Warner Bros. Presents while keeping up his busy movie career and busier social life.

By 1956 he was on to his third wife, Elizabeth Montgomery, daughter of famed Hollywood actor Robert Montgomery. Elizabeth Montgomery would go on to superstardom in the 1960s as Samantha Stephens, the nose-twitching hexess in TV’s Bewitched (1964-72).

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But first she had to dump Gig Young. Montgomery divorced him in 1963, citing physical and emotional abuse fuelled by her husband’s alcoholism.

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The Gig Young party gig was starting to run low on steam, but there were still two more wives, a pretty good TV series called The Rogues and that 1969 Academy Award to go before the whole charming, amiable Gig Young persona blew apart in a million pieces.

He married his fourth wife, Hollywood real estate agent Elaine Williams, shortly after the Montgomery divorce and daughter Jennifer — Byron Barr/Gig Young’s only child — came along in April 1964.

Gig&baby

Of course, Williams was divorcing Barr/Young within three years (physical-emotional abuse/alcoholism) and in the subsequent child support proceedings Barr/Young proclaimed that Jennifer was not his biological child and he was not responsible for her upkeep. The court ruled against him, but more about that later.

So Gig Young staggered into the 1970s, clutching his Oscar, with a few more movie roles to come but far more trouble.

Typical was his experience in 1973 when Mel Brooks picked Gig Young to play the Waco Kid — a role ultimately assumed by Gene Wilder — in the groundbreaking western comedy Blazing Saddles.

Blazing_saddles_movie_poster

Let’s let Mel Brooks tell you what happened on the first day of filming when Cleavon Little’s character Bart and the Waco Kid (Gig Young), a broken-down, drunken gunslinger, meet for the first time in jail:

“We draped Gig Young’s legs over and hung him upside down. And he started to talk and he started shaking. I said, ‘This guy’s giving me a lot. He is giving plenty. He’s giving me the old alky shake. Great.’ And then it got serious, because the shaking never stopped, and green stuff started spewing out of his mouth and nose, and he started screaming. And, I said, ‘That’s the last time I’ll ever cast anybody who really is that person.’ If you want an alcoholic, don’t cast an alcoholic… Anyway, poor Gig Young, it was the first shot on Friday, nine in the morning, and an ambulance came and took him away. I had no movie.”

Gene Wilder flew from New York to Los Angeles over the weekend and was playing the Waco Kid on Monday morning, but that’s another story.

The DTs didn’t deter Gig Young and he was still firmly on his downward spiral when he hooked up with director Sam Peckinpah (another guy on a downward spiral) to make a couple of ultra-violent, nihilistic movies — 1974′s Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia and 1975′s The Killer Elite.

(It seems to be during the making of these films that Gig Young started collecting guns.)

BringMeTheHead

There were two more movies after that and one more marriage before Gig Young’s ignominious end.

Young was an invisible presence in a terrible movie, The Hindenburg, also released in 1975, and then he hit rock bottom in 1978 when he was cast in a patchwork reworking of an unreleased kung-fu movie called Game of Death — incomplete footage of which was shot prior to star Bruce Lee’s death in 1973.

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So Gig Young’s last movie had him in a minor supporting role to an action star who had been totally inactive for five years.

Not really a good mental and emotional place to be for his fifth marriage on Sept. 27, 1978, to 31-year-old German actress Kim Schmidt (sometimes erroneously listed as 21 and sometimes erroneously listed as Australian).

I’m not sure why Kim Schmidt married him — maybe it was true love, maybe it was Oscar love, maybe it was just something to do — but it was a bad decision.

Three weeks after the wedding Gig Young ended the marriage in their condo apartment, Suite 1BB of the Osborne Apartments on West 57th Street in New York City, on Oct. 19, 1978.

He ended it by loading a Smith & Wesson .38-calibre revolver — one of many, many firearms he kept in the apartment — and putting one slug through his wife’s head and one slug through the roof of his mouth.

Gig Young 2

Exit, Gig Young.

But not gracefully.

Adding insult to felonious injury, his will left the bulk of his estate to his 1970s agent, Marty Baum of CAA, and $10 to his putative daughter, Jennifer Young. (How creepy is that, taking as your real last name the fictional name of a guy who had disowned you as his daughter?)

In the end, it was up to Gig Young’s sister, Genevieve Barr Merry, to bury her brother. Which she did, in the Green Hill Cemetery in Waynesville, North Carolina.

And that is where Gig Young’s story ends and mine begins.

A couple of years ago, I took an extended road trip down the east coast of the U.S., partly to write travel stories, partly to heal wounds of a dissolved marriage and partly to feed an eccentric hobby of mine — visiting the graves of interesting dead people.

I must admit that Gig Young didn’t meet the main criterion of my search for dead people — for the most past they were people I admired or, at least, could stand in awe of.

People like Rod Serling, creator of the Twilight Zone (a simple stone on a rural hillside in the Finger Lakes district of upper New York); Mark Twain ( a grotesque monument in Elmira, N.Y., erected 30 years after his death by his daughter to jointly honour her dead Russian composer husband); Billie Burke, the actress who played the Good Witch in The Wizard of Oz, alongside her previously deceased/bankrupt husband Flo Ziegfield of Ziegfield Follies fame (simple graves on a hilltop outside New York City shaded by a huge statue Burke erected in honour of her mother). People like that.

But my ultimate destination was North Carolina, the place of my birth and the place where I had scattered my father’s ashes over his parents’ graves the better part of a decade earlier.

I was doing some travel writing/gathering up in North Carolina’s Great Smoky Mountains first and that was where I stumbled across the fact that Gig Young was buried in Waynesville.

That was also when I became aware that Young — an actor I was very familiar with from my childhood — had died in a bizarre murder-suicide. And I couldn’t figure out what he was doing buried in a small mountain town in North Carolina , far away from Hollywood and New York City and even Washington, D.C., where he supposedly grew up.

So driving down the Blue Ridge Parkway chasing 19th Century inns, steam locomotives and a moonshiner named Popcorn Sutton, I stopped off at the Green Hill Cemetery on a hot, sunny June afternoon to look up Gig Young.

One major thing that distinguishes American cemeteries from Canadian cemeteries is the number of little flags erected at gravesites. Those flags are usually put there by the American Legion and other post-service fellowships to honour departed members.

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In a normal U.S. cemetery, a third to a half of the graves will be showing flags, in part because of higher American war death tolls in the past half century and in part because mandatory conscription — and thus an extended base of former military personnel — was in effect in the U.S. from the early 1940s through the 1970s.

Then there’s another quirk: The further south you travel, the more Confederate flags you see intermingled with United States flags in cemeteries. Those flags are maintained by organizations like the Sons and Daughters of the Confederacy to honour the southern dead of a war fought 150 years ago.

I tell you this because the Green Hill Cemetery is so old it has far more graves sprouting Confederate flags than U.S. flags.

I like cemeteries: They’re calm and peaceful and have interesting stories to tell. And I generally like people who work in cemeteries: They tend to be calm and peaceful and have interesting stories to tell too.

And when you’re looking for a needle — one single grave — in a haystack — a cemetery with anywhere between 300 and 300,000 (Arlington) graves — the people who work there are a good place to start the search.

Since there aren’t usually a lot of living people in a cemetery on a midweek afternoon, it didn’t take long to find caretaker Lonnie Higgins.

Lonnie was a nice guy but a fairly young guy, cemeterily speaking, so he didn’t have quite the sense of historical ownership I was looking for.

Lonnie could direct me to a grist stone once operated by Daniel Boone (everything in the mountains of North Carolina has some connection to Daniel Boone), to the car dealer buried in a Model T Ford and to the grave of the very last serving Confederate officer (Alden Howell, died 1947 age 106), but he had no idea who Gig Young or Byron Barr was or where he was buried.

Lonnie thought a little more.

“And we’ve got that actress here, the one from Bewitched.”

“Elizabeth Montgomery?” I asked in disbelief.

“No, not Samantha. Her mother.”

“Agnes Moorehead?”

“I guess. I heard she was buried here but I’ve never seen her grave myself.”

That was just too weird: The guy once married to Elizabeth Montgomery and the woman who once played her mother on TV buried in the same rural cemetery in the middle of nowhere.

And then, thankfully, Fred Rathbone drove up in his truck.

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Fred was the former Green Hill caretaker, retired now, but the main man for 35 years and the repository of knowledge I had been looking for.

And yes, Fred was related to Basil Rathbone, the Sherlock Holmes actor whose urn crypt in a New York mausoleum I had recently been locked out of.

“He was my daddy’s second or third cousin.”

Well, everybody in North Carolina is pretty much related to everybody else, including Daniel Boone, so the Rathbone connection was no surprise.

With the pleasantries over, I asked Fred about Gig Young.

“Oh, yes, he’s here but not under that name. Under the family name.”

“Barr?”

“Yeah, that’s it. I’ve seen it many times but I don’t remember right where now. Over that way somewhere. There’s a family monument and then the individual markers.”

“And Agnes Moorehead? She’s buried here too?”

Fred looked confused.

“Lonnie told me Agnes Moorehead, the mother from Bewitched, is buried here too.”

Fred’s furrowed brow cleared.

“Oh, no. The Bewitched connection is to Gig Young. He was married to Samantha, you know. Lonnie just got his witches mixed up.”

Lonnie and Fred and I had a good chuckle about that one.

So Lonnie and Fred went on talking and watching birds and listening to the wind in the trees while I went grave hunting.

And about 45 minutes later — after finally turning 90 degrees from the direction Fred had pointed me in — I found the Barr family plot.

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And under the Barr monument there were five gravestones:

John E. Barr 1877-1975

Emma C. Barr 1879-1944

Donald E. Barr 1906-1949

Floyd H. Barr 1883-1969

Byron E. Barr 1913-1978

So there was Gig Young, buried with his family under a modest stone stained with I don’t know what, except maybe shame.

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I went to find Fred and Lonnie and showed them the grave.

Fred told me John and Emma were Gig/Byron’s parents, Donald was his older brother and Floyd was his uncle.

And Fred told me Gig/Byron’s father, John, had served in the Philippines in the Spanish-American War (1899-1901) with Fred’s grandfather.

“So the family was here for a long time?”

“Oh yeah, they owned a cannery.”

“Well, all the published information says Gig … um, Byron … was born in Minnesota and grew up in Washington.”

“Well, John and Emma were away for a while but they came back when Byron was six or so and he grew up here. That’s for sure. I grew up with him. I was a lot younger than he was but I saw him around.”

So that’s why Gig Young is buried in Waynesville, N.C. At the end of his sad, broken life, his sister took him home to be buried with his family in the little mountain town where he spent his childhood.

And that’s pretty much it.

Except for the daughter, Jennifer.

JenniferFacebook

Even though her father had denied her and spurned her in his will, Jennifer Young grew up in Hollywood claiming some reflected glory from her famous/infamous father/non-father.

She has a music career of sorts now and is trying to find backers for a documentary on her father, but she was known as a fixture on the Hollywood party scene for years and made headlines in the past 15 years for two things.

1. Jennifer was BFF and former roommate of Beverly Hills madam Heidi Fleiss, although Jennifer denied persistent accusations that she was one of Heidi’s stable of high-priced Hollywood hookers. Charlie Sheen, a Heidi client, could shed more light on that if he didn’t have troubles of his own that probably outweigh most self-inflicted career setbacks endured by Jennifer’s father/non-father. (I really think Charlie should take a good look at Gig Young’s lifestyle choices. But he won’t. See you at the end of the road, Charlie.)

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2. In the mid-1990s, Jennifer launched a highly publicized campaign to get possession of her father’s Best Supporting Actor Oscar from agent Marty Baum, who had claimed it in a round-about way under the terms of Gig Young’s will. In a tripartite agreement involving Baum, Jennifer Young and the Academy  of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (legal owners of the statue), Baum agreed to turn over the Oscar to Jennifer on his death.

MartyOscar

Well, Marty Baum died in November 2010. Jennifer Young got the Oscar in December and the Academy says she can keep it for 48 weeks of every year until she dies. That’s about as close to a happy ending as this story can get.

Oscar

 

 

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When Toews means Tayvz

- June 13th, 2013

 

How the heck could a word spelled “Toews” possibly be pronounced “Tayvz?”

 

I’m here to explain. Sort of.

 

I say “sort of” because, even when you know the reasons why, it still doesn’t make a lick of sense.

 

For starters, both Jonathan Toews, captain of the NHL Chicago Blackhawks, and Vic Toews, Canada’s minister of public safety, pronounce their surname the same way — and for the same reason.

jonathan-toewsvic-toews

 

They’re both Manitoba boys (although the political one was born in Paraguay) and both are of Mennonite stock. Surprisingly, Toews is a not-uncommon name throughout both the Canadian West and the American Midwest wherever Mennonites settled in the 19th and early 20th century.

 

Jonathan Toews’ family was originally Dutch Mennonite but, because of religious persecution, moved to Germany in the 16th Century before eventually emigrating to Canada. And Vic Toews’ forebears were also German Mennonites (quite probably originating in Holland too) who wandered east into the steppes of Russia before Vic’s grandparents were killed during the Russian Revolution and a relative brought Vic’s father to Canada in the 1920s.

 

So the commonality is “Mennonite” and “German” and that’s where the strange pronunciation comes in — from the weird and wonderful German/Deutsch language, considered by linguists to be one of the 10 most difficult languages in the world to master. (I’ll second that — I’ve been failing miserably to learn German for about four years now.)

 

A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in 30 hours, French in 30 days, and German in 30 years.

— Mark Twain, That Awful German Language

 

We’re going to ignore Vic Toews from here on in and just concentrate on Jonathan Toews in honour of Captain Serious’s current appearance in the Stanley Cup final (and because, as a general rule of thumb, I ignore Vic Toews whenever possible).

 

According to the genealogists, the original Dutch name was “van Toovs” which, when the family sought refuge in Germany, became “Töws” and later — without the umlaut (those two dots over the letter) — “Toews.”

 

There are a couple of things here and I’ll try to keep them simple (Ha! This is German — no chance.)

 

The simplest one is the W which, in German, is pronounced V. (And the V is sometimes — but not always — pronounced F. So Volkswagen is actually pronounced “Folks Vagen.” And Jetta is pronounced “Yetta” and so on.)

 

The hard one to explain is how “oe” comes out “eh.” But then it’s German, so it doesn’t have to make sense.

 

The first thing you need to know is the O with an umlaut is a completely different letter of the alphabet than a regular, un-umlauted O. And the same goes for the letter A and the letter U which also have umlauted versions — which also sound NOTHING like the original.

eszett

So I’m tempted to say the German alphabet has 29 letters, not 26 — except there’s also that strange device called “eszett” in German — ß — which is sort of SZ but not really. And there are about half a dozen other combos — like äu — which have lives of their own unrelated to all the other single letters in the alphabet. So maybe it’s a 35- or 36-letter alphabet. What can I tell ya, Jake — it’s German.

 

But we’re getting off track here. Back to “Toews.” The Germans changed the Dutch  “van Toovs” to “Töws” (remember, the Germans pronounce W as V) and when a German doesn’t have an umlaut handy, he or she adds an E after the O — as in “oe” — so the reader knows the writer would be using an umlaut if he or she had one.

 

The worst thing is that it’s almost impossible for anyone raised speaking English to pronounce “ö” (umlauted O) or “oe” properly. This explanation will drive native German speakers crazy, but it’s sort of like pronouncing a long A in English  — but with your lips rounded like you would to pronounce U.

 

You have to make a Derek Zoolander or Angelina Jolie face, in other words. And you still aren’t pronouncing it right. The English-speaking mouth simply can’t do it. I swear.

Zoolanderangelina-jolie

 

 

Besides, it hurst your lips and makes you look funny. So, in the words of Don Cherry, “Don’t do it, kids.”

 

Again, this will drive my German friends crazy (Nein-nein-nein, Alan!)  but I have a little pronunciation trick. Whenever I see two vowels together in a German word, I know to just pronounce the SECOND of the two vowels. That’s how I know Riesling wine is pronounced REEEZ-ling, not RIIIIIZ-ling. Like I said, that probably drives Germans crazy. (And I still actually call it RIIIIIZ-ling because that’s how I erroneously learned the word oh so many decades ago.)

 

So back to “Toews” again. We now know the W is going to be pronounced V and we’ve decided to igore the O part of the OE combo altogether — and the E in German is pronounced (sort of like) “eh.”

 

So that’s how “Toews” is pronounced “T-eh-V-s.”

 

I told you it wouldn’t make a lick of sense.

 

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The Cooling Of Toronto

- June 11th, 2013

 

Don’t get all puffed up about it, but the rest of the world has suddenly decided that Toronto is cool. Or at least interesting.

 

And, yes, I think it probably has an awful lot to do with Gawker’s exposé last month about the elusive smartphone video that may or may not show Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine.

 

No matter how much the allegation startled Torontonians, imagine the double-take it forced on non-Canadians who used to find it convenient to view Toronto as “New York run by the Swiss” (in the words of Peter Ustinov), a rather sterile and correct metropolis.

 

(I say “non-Canadians” advisedly because Canadians outside the GTA have such a generally low opinion of Toronto that they would not be surprised by almost any scandalous allegation about our city, our people or our politicians. We Torontonians, on the other hand, think of ourselves as a pretty decent, cosmopolitan lot and the rest of the world outside Canada sees us — or used to see us — as a bunch of nice, polite, boring do-gooders.)

 

But all that’s changed since the Gawker foofaraw about Ford (or Slurpy or whoever) smoking something in a glass pipe. If Mayor McCheese is a possible  crackhead, doesn’t that make the whole damn town a little … impulsive … unpredictable … dangerous?

 

Don’t believe me? Just take a look at this headline on Time magazine’s website last week.

 

 

Time-website

That’s Time magazine. Not the force it used to be, perhaps, but still a news outlet that garners serious international attention. And that story hit the No. 3 spot on Time’s “most read” chart for June 4.

Swampland

Unfortunately, they filed the story under the category “Swampland,” but what the hell — you can’t have everything.

 

Amazingly, a Google search of “Rob Ford” produces almost twice as many results (227 million) as one for    “Ford Motor” (120 million).

 

I won’t say the sophisticates of New York or Berlin or Hong Kong are looking at us with admiration now, but they aren’t taking us for granted any more. They’re watching our eyes more closely and paying attention to any fast movements we make with our hands.

 

It reminds me a bit of when I learned that a former newspaper colleague, a pleasant and rather ordinary woman, had a concurrent alternate identity as a very hands-on, practice-makes-perfect online sex columnist and therapist (no, not anyone connected with the Toronto Sun). I did look at her in a completely different light after that. I didn’t think it made her a better or worse journalist — just a far more complex and nuanced person than I had previously given her credit for. Much like the rest of the world is now looking at Toronto.

 

It’s not just the Ford issue that’s set tongues wagging about us, but I think the high-profile Ford kerfuffle started the ball rolling.

 

The Ikea monkey business hit a sweet spot all over the world and John Malkovich’s  recent quick response to help a badly bleeding tourist has been very big — and very positive for Toronto. Imagine a town where movie stars hang out on street corners just waiting to save the afflicted and downtrodden — that’s Toronto, baby.

 

The Cooling of Toronto has been something in the making for a while. Toronto’s cultural milieu has been on the world’s radar for years, what with Pride Week, Caribana, same-sex marriage, our bubbling music scene and, of course, the high-wattage, celebrity-friendly Toronto International Film Festival.

 

But even when we were seen to be sorta trendy and a bit avant-garde, the package was still wrapped up in a cuddly blanket of “nice.” Nice is nice but not particularly exciting.

 

Now that the world’s seen our crack pipes, leather corsets and whip collection, we don’t seem quite so nice. But far more interesting.

 

And that means things that happen in Toronto — fairly ordinary things in the normal course of events — have suddenly acquired a cachet and deeper lustre simply because they happen in Toronto. Toronto — a cool town, a town with buzz, a town where anything can happen. New York run by Brazilians, not Swiss. (Toronto will never really compare with NYC, of course, but maybe that just means we’re coming into our own, with a completely different set of attributes.)

 

Future international coverage of Pride Toronto, Caribana and TIFF, for example, will certainly have more zing and a higher profile this summer than similar coverage did in earlier years. And more general news stories will feature Toronto more prominently as a locale or an angle or a flavour.

 

Take, for example, this piece that appeared on the deadspin.com sports website on Monday. (Deadspin is the site that broke the story about college football star Manti Te’o's “dead” girlfriend being non-existent.)

 

The article by Hamilton Nolan is about Toronto Pro SuperShow, a three-day cornucopia of all things fit and muscled and strong and steroidal and spray-tanned that took place last weekend at the Toronto Convention Centre.

 

It’s a good piece — no Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, yet good — but the surprising thing is that Deadspin sent someone up from New York City to cover it. I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t have happened a year ago.

 

The fact that deadspin.com is owned by Gawker may have something to do with it, but not all. Gawker and everyone else is simply paying much more attention to what happens in Toronto than they ever did before.

 

And that’s not necessarily a good thing. Having a rep as an edgy town, a naughty town can attract the wrong sort of “friends.” And once you get a reputation for being down and dirty, it can be rather hard to play the girl next door again.

 

It’s a little like when the powers that be suddenly declared Toronto a “world-class city” in the mid-1980s. What had been a fun, laid-back, relatively affordable town became — in a matter of two or three years — expensive, snobbish and wound-too-tight.

 

I long for the Toronto that used to exist before it became a “world class city.” I’m just hoping we don’t all end up regretting the day the rest of the world decided Toronto was cool. And it’s especially weird if Toronto is now cool because of … Rob Ford?

 

 

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I Know I’m Being Watched

- June 10th, 2013

 

And listened to. And spied upon.

 

I’m not paranoid. (Well, maybe a little, but who in his or her right mind isn’t?) I’m being realistic.

 

And it’s not a matter of egotism. How can I be special if I’m just one of millions and (in the grand scheme of things) billions?

 

Apparently somewhere around 13 billion phone calls are made every day in the world.

 

The simple fact that anyone can even make that estimate and the fact that the technology and infrastructure exist to successfully transmit those billions of daily electronic conversations mean they can be tracked and recorded and listened to — if someone has the resources and will to do so.

 

Same goes for e-mails, text-messaging and any other form of electronic, over-the-air or through-the-wire communication.

 

I don’t think governments should be doing any of that but it doesn’t surprise me that any government that has the capacity can’t resist the temptation to do so. At first just a little, within stringent boundaries, carefully monitored and with a huge background briefing folder of reasons why it is so very necessary.

 

Then, as the ball gets rolling, the numbers start climbing exponentially, the defences get sloppy and finally become non-existent, and the massive invasion of privacy and abuse of civil rights becomes entrenched, commonplace and business as usual.

 

Governments can’t help themselves. It is the nature of the beast. No matter what they say.

 

Just look at the income tax you pay.

 

“Income tax” is a concept completely alien to most of human existence. It was introduced in Canada and much of the rest of the world less than a century ago to pay for the enormous cost of World War I. A terrible, unnatural measure but an absolutely necessary one (the government of the day said) to ensure the survival of our culture, our free society and democracy in general. And, of course (the government said) such an abomination will be done away with as soon as our survival is assured and we can return to “normal” life.

 

Fat chance. Governments have always had a hard time giving up powers they’ve acquired, whether those powers be legitimate and above-board or surreptitious and opaque.

 

And so, of course, we continue to pay income tax — at rates that would be beyond horrified belief for Canadian taxpayers eight or nine decades ago. Yet we pay — partly because we understand it’s how we keep our society functioning but mainly because we know what would happen to us if we didn’t pay.

 

The government says “You owe us and you must pay — or else” much like a mob enforcer. Only instead of split lips and broken bones, the threatened punishment can be years in jail or the destruction of one’s life and/or business.

 

In other words, income tax is just extortion — carried out on a massive scale and done with the weight and authority of the law. But still, when all is said and done, it’s extortion. Just like the OLG is another bookie when push comes to shove and the LCBO is just another bootlegger. But legal, sanctified and so much more powerful than a freelance entrepreneur.

 

Governments will dress up their actions in fancy clothes but, in the end, it all boils down to “Because we say so — and we’ll hurt you if you defy us.”

 

I’m just using income tax as an example of what governments are willing to impose on their citizens in the name of … the greater good, national security, whatever.

 

Same goes for monitoring the lives and conversations of citizens, collecting personal data, intercepting private communications.

 

Of course they say they aren’t actually opening the electronic mail — just looking at the addresses, tracking frequency of posts, checking the weight for suspicious enclosures, maybe doing a chemical analysis scan here and there to see if a suspicious communication is laced with the intellectual equivalent of toxic ricin. But open it? Naw, we wouldn’t do that — you can trust us.

 

Well, I don’t trust them. And that’s just based on the empirical evidence of past actions and past government denials and later defences of reprehensible actions.

 

So, if I believe the government has the ability to monitor, capture and analyze all our electronic communications — which I do — then I also believe they will exercise that ability in some manner — which I do.

 

Should I be upset about that? Yes. Am I surprised? No.

 

Because governments, as organisms, have even fewer scruples than individuals and will go to extraordinary lengths to achieve what are seen as important goals and crucial payoffs.

 

And the individuals in government start mixing up their partisan beliefs and agendas with the self-serving idea that what is good for them and their allies is good for the country and good for me.

 

I’m interested to see how they’ll dance and weave — not very well or convincingly, I imagine — around the issue. But whatever they say, I don’t think they’ll change. I don’t think my rights and freedoms will be better protected. I don’t think Canada will be better served or protected.

 

And so the only way to protect myself is to claim my freedom and autonomy as openly and often as possible. I despise them for listening in and I do not give them permission to do so, but I am not going to cultivate what I say or think because of any concern about Stasi wiretaps or their cyberspace equivalent. This is Canada, not East Germany.

 

So I operate on the assumption that anything I write or say is for public consumption, one way or the other.

Listen to me. Read my lips. I will say exactly the same things in private that I say in public. And if you can read my mind, please follow the instructions I’ve just given you.

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RioCan And Walmart Versus Kensington Market

- June 7th, 2013

 

I think we can all agree on two things:

1) Cities evolve or stagnate

and

2) Not all change is good.

But c’mon — a Walmart big-box store sitting in the heart of Toronto right on top of funky, run-down, pedestrian-friendly, thinking-outside-the-big-box Kensington Market, dividing the remnants of Downtown Chinatown and Downtown Little Italy?

What was RioCan, developer of the Bathurst St. Walmart plan, thinking?

No wonder 65,000 (and counting) people have — in less than a week — signed a grassroots online petition objecting to RioCan’s attempt to change the city’s Official Plan to allow their Walmart development to go ahead.

And no wonder more than 400 people (by my count) with at least 100 more turned away at the door showed up for a public-input meeting at College St. United Church Thursday evening.

As you would suppose, most of those in attendance were there to oppose the development — did I mention it calls for a 300-car underground parking garage? — but a contingent of half a dozen RioCan developers, lawyers and consultants was also there to defend their baby.

And, of course, there was heckling. But very polite, very Toronto, quite intelligent and almost anti-belligerent heckling. A typical jibe was this, obviously aimed at a RioCan functionaire relaying (perhaps) the goings-on to higher authorities: “You said you were here to listen. So get off your cell phone and listen.” I love that — not smart phone, not iPhone, not BlackBerry, but “cell phone” — Kensington Market retro.

I’m not going to go into great detail about the relative merits of either side’s case or what was said at the Thursday night meeting. You can read or hear that elsewhere. And you’ve probably figured out where I stand on the issue.

There was such a turnout Thursday night that city planners have scheduled another opportunity for public input on July 9 in the City Hall council chambers (the big time). And there’s a separate public meeting to discuss the larger issue of Bathurst St. redevelopment back at College St. United Church on Monday evening (June 10 at 7 p.m., I believe).

But one thing you should know is that, whatever happens with the Kensington Market Walmart store, it’s not an isolated event — it’s a trend.

 

walmart-logo

By the way, the brand name is Walmart, not Wal-Mart. Has been since 2008 even though the parent company’s official name is still Wal-Mart Stores Inc.

In the last fiscal year, Walmart Canada opened 73 new stores and most of those were in the 100,000-square-foot range (roughly the size of the proposed Kensington Market store) or smaller, not the much larger suburban mega-store model.

That’s partly because — in a defensive move — Walmart picked up the leases of a bunch of Zellers stores that were shut down when competitor Target moved into the Canadian market. But it’s also because Walmart Canada now has stores pretty much everywhere they need and want them in suburbia and has to look to high-density urban cores for future expansion.

And that, of course, means more compact stores packed into tighter slots. Like the Bathurst St. half-block site just across the road from  dumpy old Kensington Market. And that means more push-back from inner city residents who don’t want big box stores — even if they’re slightly smaller big boxes — bringing more traffic, more problems and less economic and social diversity into their neighbourhoods and communities.

Dumpy old Kensington Market does feel very threatened by the encroachment of big boxes like Walmart. But really, what have we lost if we lose Kensington Market? It’s just a dump, after all.

Well, think about this:

Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris was terribly damaged by the anti-cleric rampages of the French Revolution. It was an 800-year-old dump. It was in such awful shape the authorities were thinking about tearing it down in the early 19th Century. Then Victor Hugo wrote his 1831 best-seller The Hunchback of Notre Dame and suddenly everyone fell in love with the old cathedral again.

And how about the Alamo? Now one of the most iconic symbols of America, the old San Antonio mission had fallen on hard times after the Mexican army wiped out Davy Crockett and his Texican and Tejano rebel compadres in 1836. At various times it was used as a warehouse and a stable. It was a dump. And it too was almost torn down before the Daughters of the Republic of Texas took it over and restored it in the early 20th Century.

Kensington Market is neither Notre Dame nor the Alamo. But it is a wonderful place, a unique place, a place you should go and wander through if you’ve never been there. I really can’t believe it’s still surviving with all the redevelopment pressure on it.

Be really careful what dumps you get rid of. You may miss those dumps an awful lot a few years after they’re gone.

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