Make Canoe my Homepage

Steelers fan files motion against NFL from jail

- January 9th, 2014
Chargers

Antonio Gates celebrates a Week 17 win.
(Donald Miralle/Getty Images/AFP)

A prison inmate who doubles as a die-hard Pittsburgh Steelers fan recently filed a court motion against the National Football League, according to the Baltimore Sun.

(By the way, you are not reading The Onion right now.)

So distraught over the San Diego Chargers loss to the Kansas City Chiefs in Week 17, Daniel L. Spuck from Mercer, Pa., put in some serious time — I suppose he has plenty to spare, eh? — to properly file the motion for a “temporary emergency injunction.”

You see, a Chargers loss to the Chiefs meant his beloved Steelers would make the playoffs.

Infamously, an illegal formation penalty was not called on the Chargers in the dying seconds of regulation, when Chiefs kicker Ryan Succop missed a game-winning field goal. Then San Diego won in overtime, effectively booting the Steelers from the playoff picture.

So, naturally, Spuck blames the NFL for the entire situation. Now he demands trial by jury (seriously).

The Baltimore Sun has a scanned version of Spuck’s hand-written letter on their website. The scatterbrained letter, which is definitely worth a read, can be found here.

Among other things, Spuck claims the Chargers-Chiefs refs and video replay judges were “negligent” and “fraudulent”. He even suggests this officiating screw-up is special simply because it is “unlike no other”.

Here are two of Spock’s genius solutions to the apparent problem:

  • suspend the playoffs for a week so the Chargers-Chiefs can resume play and properly finish its Week 17 matchup
  • have the Steelers and Chargers compete in a neutral-site game to determine which team deserves a playoff spot

Yeah, this is going somewhere, Spuck. Keep fighting the good fight.

Subscribe to the post

Leave a comment

 characters available