Make Canoe my Homepage

Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon hands out his own NHL awards

- April 23rd, 2014

The Tonight Show and hockey don’t often meet.

Jimmy Fallon’s Tuesday night show was an exception, however. The comedian ran a segment called Tonight Show Superlatives, which was basically a tongue-in-cheek, fake NHL awards show.

Three Pittsburgh Penguins and three Boston Bruins received the silly honours:

The list of “award winners”:

  • Penguins’ Beau Bennett, Most Likely To Get a Penalty for Frosting Tips
  • Bruins’ Brad Marchand, Most Likely to Play a Pizza Delivery Guy in an 80s Movie About Skiing
  • Bruins’ Dougie Hamilton, Easiest to Replicate as a Bobblehead
  • Bruins’ Zdeno Chara, Most Likely to be Two Humans Sewn Together
  • Penguins’ Matt Niskanen, Worst at Darts
  • Penguins’ Simon Depres, 2nd Worst at Darts

Drake lint rolls his pants during Raptors-Nets game

- April 23rd, 2014


Drake took the term “rolling with my homies” to a whole new level on Tuesday.

Toronto’s pride and joy was spotted lint rolling his clearly lint-infested pants during the first quarter in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference quarterfinal series between the Raptors and Nets.

The Raptors ended up winning the game 100-95, to tie the series at 1-1, but who cares about that!

Many claim lint rolling isn’t very gangster or thug of Aubrey to do.

I tend to disagree with that line of thinking; I just see it as gangsta maintenance.

It’s refreshing to see the man who runs the T Dot also has time to lint roll court side.

Now you’re talking my language Drizzy.

Bruins’ Marchand denies faking injury after trip

- April 22nd, 2014

Boston Bruins forward Brad Marchand appeared to be on the receiving end of a knee-on-knee hit courtesy Detroit Red Wings defenceman Brendan Smith in the second period of Game 3 of their opening-round series Tuesday.

Marchand took a tumble and needed help to get off the ice.

Except …

… He favoured his other leg on his way to the dressing room. That led to speculation he was feigning injury.

So what really happened?

According to Marchand, he tweaked his right knee while falling over.

“I twisted it when I landed there,” he told WEEI.com. “It kind of felt like a pop, and my leg was tingling a bit. I just wanted to make sure it was OK and moving right.”

If you look closely, Smith’s knee may not have made contact with Marchand’s at all. The B’s winger was tripped by Smith’s stick, but Marchand may have tucked in his leg at the last moment to avoid injury.

“I even said that to the ref after when he asked what happened,” Marchand said. “I just tried to jump around him and he clipped me a little bit, but it was just more how I landed, so it was the right call.”

So, this may not have been a case of embellishment after all, something Marchand has a reputation for. He also returned to the game shortly afterward.

Smith received a minor penalty for tripping and nothing more. As it should have been.

Marchand also took time to take a shot at his doubters.

@AVPreports

Angels’ Garrett Richards throws schoolyard wild pitch

- April 22nd, 2014

Los Angeles Angels starter Garrett Richards evidently knows exactly how to throw a wild pitch.

The wild part being the improbable rebound that came back to him after missing the mark entirely during fourth-inning action Monday against the Nationals in Washington.

See for yourself:

Science rules.

OK, if someone had told me I could make it to the majors by throwing a tennis ball off the garage door, I would have tried way harder at recess.

Important: Patrick Kane playoff mullet update

- April 22nd, 2014

Patrick Kane’s playoff mullet is back, and it’s getting greasy.

All business up front, but go around back and you’ll find the party.

Being down 2-1 in the series against St. Louis doesn’t bode well for optimal mullet growth, but if Chicago can start winning, maybe we’ll be able to see some substantial mullet cultivation.

We’ll keep you posted.