It has been my observation that guys and girls are getting hitched and having babies (not necessarily in that order) at a very young age. With a mere 19 or 20 years out of the womb, the seed has already been spread and there’s a sparkly on a manicured finger! It seems as though once a week our 20 year old intern comes in with a story about an engagement, marriage, or birth that has taken place in his circle of friends. You’d think I’d start to expect it yet every time I hear the news I am shocked! Guess I just can’t get used to the idea of babies having babies.
Is this just a small town phenomenon where getting knocked up becomes a glorified hobby? Has teen pregnancy and marriage been glamorized by celebrities and t.v. shows? I have to admit I do find “Teen Mom” quite entertaining. If you’re having a bad day, just turn that show on and know it could be worse. Sad, but true. Is it a lack of education? Doubtful, there’s been talk of introducing grade one kids to condoms. I know what you’re thinking…what a waste! Balloon animals have no place in sexual education. Or have we flashed back to the “good old days” where young love is legitimate and long lasting? Whatever the reason, I find it alarming.
How can people this young be emotionally and financially stable to enter into marriage or parenthood? There will always be exceptions to the rule in which young couples will thrive regardless of the circumstances. However I fear that the majority have entered into this mature world based on a utopian view of what their new life will be like. With no reprieve from household bills and car payments and a baby who would rather kick and scream instead of sleep, that fantasy world that once appeared so attractive may turn ugly quite quickly.
My 9 year old cousin is wise beyond her years and what she said to me probably applies to a lot out there. We were talking about how old my mom looks and she so sweetly commented, “Auntie Carol looks like she’s 30! I wouldn’t lie!”. Then she turned to address me and said, “Jess you look like you’re 23 (I’m 24…so, pretty accurate there) and you act like you’re 15!” Now I’m going to claim I’m a little more mature than that and hope you take my word but the point is this, although these young adults may have a mature exterior, they may still have a lot of growing up to do!
So take it from me or a 9 year old kid…keep it in the pants and babysit and save your ring money and spend it on something smart…like school.
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Tags: http://www.themotts.ca/, Teen Mom
I’ve never read a more informed post relating to this issue – ever. It was concise and the Author showed wisdom beyond years of the average 20′s something individual.
The article also falls on a timely season, with summer and “romance” in the air. I hope many parents and teens read this. I also posted to my FB page. Keep writing, Jess!
Odd since the statistics show that the average female marries later(mid to late 20′s), and has their first kid later (close to 30) than in decades past.
Interesting perspective. While I actually agree with the premise in general – for my situation – that is where the agreement ends. It is not for me or the author to judge, and the basis for the author’s view might be puritanical. She chastises these young families as having an unrealistic, utopian view of life. It appears she may have an equally unrealistic, utopian assumption — that everyone must have a university degree, 21st century urban lifestyle with a minivan in the driveway of a suburban home, a dog, a dual income wherein the woman has a requisite career well underway before having 2.135 children, at what, perhaps 30 years old is appropriate for the author?
It was relatively recent in human history that 14-year-olds were marrying and having children and humanity seems to have survived quite well, merrily destroying nature, warring within itself, but also writing beautiful music, curing diseases, all while still getting to 6.5 billion strong. Further, kids are having sexual relations in their teenage years anyway – always have; always will. It’s remarkable, and presumably thanks to birth control, the education about which the author makes fun, that there aren’t more teenagers having children.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news to the author, but household bills and car payments are still around at age 50, never mind 20. Equally, if one reads the news about the economy, debt-to-income ratios, credit card debt, various sector job losses, lifetime career change frequency, financial stability is hardly related to age, and there probably is no such thing as financial stability.
To concern oneself about 20-year-olds – calling them kids – having children is out-of-touch both in the “good old days” and today. I’m very curious at what age the author thinks love becomes “legitimate”. What is the level of relationship or family conformity which might make the author more comfortable?
Not in certain demographics, Brad, sad to say.
Hi there! Just in case you missed the bio or forgot who you were talking to, my name’s Jess and I have no problem being addressed as such.
I want to thank you for sharing your opinion, correct or not. The beauty of blogging is that you can express varying viewpoints and enter into debate.
The issue of teen pregnancy can be quite a sensitive one as was demonstrated by the author’s response. To be clear, it was not my intention to chastise. I was reporting on my personal observations and concerns as to how pregnancy and marriage at such a young age could have detrimental effects. Although if you recall, I did mention that some young families are able to thrive and do very well.
I would like to know where the author came up with my view of what a happy family life should look like. While a university degree may be helpful, a mini van practical, a dog fun to play with, and a dual income a solid financial foundation I in no way expressed that these are prerequisites to building a loving family. Personally, I would like to have a few things in order before I even think about bringing a child into this world. In case you’re keeping track, I have two diplomas, two dogs, I drive a Volkswagen (minivans just don’t do it for me) and I work two jobs. As for the appropriate age for this all to go down, I believe it depends on the individual and their emotional/ psychological maturity. Some sixteen year olds are much more together than some adults I know, however the majority are not. For most, teen pregnancy is not an ideal situation.
As for fourteen year olds bearing children…we’ll see how your tune has changed when your daughter comes home with her lover boy and announces that she’s in her second trimester!
And thanks for bursting my bubble…I thought household bills and carpayments disappeared when I hit 25. Back to the salt mines!
Wow your anecdotal evidence sure is convincing! If you actually took the time to look at the stats you’d find that you’re anecdotal experiences are not accurate. People Are getting married later in life and families ARE smaller than they were 50,40,30 or 20 years ago.