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Jennifer Lopez takes on Nicki Minaj for best homage to butts in ‘Booty’ video

- September 19th, 2014

It’s a little sad to see Jennifer Lopez fall so far from grace.

Sure, little Jenny From the Block has had some staggering moments in her career (like trying to shed the Jenny From the Block title) and some rough spots (all of Gigli), but she’s been able to overcome her setbacks to endure a longstanding musical career.

Her albums have gone platinum, she’s been awarded a judge position on American Idol, and she’s still one of the leading female artists around the world.

Which is why it was so disappointing to see her degrade herself by explicitly rubbing her ass all over Iggy Azalea.

“Artistic expression” aside (mainly because this video lacks any kind of artistic expression), the video for Lopez’s Booty is one piece of tattered clothing away from premiering on PornHub instead of YouTube.

It’s obvious why Lopez has decided to shed her clothes and common sense in the process: now more than ever, sex is selling.

When Nicki Minaj released her video for Anaconda, the remixed incarnate of Sir Mix A Lot’s I Like Bigg Butts, the world went ballistic. Some applauded Minaj for her blatant sexual expression, condoning her decision to tackle the oversexualization of Hollywood head on by producing one of the raunchiest music videos to date.

On the other hand, there was a large community of online web dwellers who expressed outrage over the video, calling Minaj a string of vulgarities that should never have been typed and a setback for women around the world.

While viewers were obviously displaced on the issue, they were still talking non-stop about it. As their voices grew louder, so did the number of views the video received.

Thinkpiece after thinkpiece was published and Minaj stood by her video, but there’s a difference between the two women that, unfortunately, separates the two very similar videos.

Minaj has always been outlandish with her wardrobe of choice and personal appearance. She’s been able to rock an edgier style of dress that seems to perfectly compliment her loud personality. She doesn’t apologize for what she says, so why should she apologize for what she wears? She wouldn’t and we shouldn’t expect her to anytime soon.

Why, then, is the Jennifer Lopez video being treated so differently? Why is it all right for Minaj to twerk it all day and night, but not for Lopez?

It’s not a question of what’s acceptable; it’s a question of appearance. Lopez has the right to wear whatever she wants and act however she wants without fear of criticism.

She also needs to understand, though, that because of the video’s poor direction it feels more like a grab to maintain a young audience than it does a freedom of artistic expression.

Lopez has never been a crude musician. Her songs may be sensual, but they were never vulgar in the same way Minaj’s were.

This video came out of left field and the initial reaction has been to laugh and mock, as the internet audience has shown us, because it lacks any kind of authenticity.

It feels like it was pieced together by a high school student taking an A.V. course, and if Lopez’s creative team doesn’t have enough respect to find someone that can create a sexy and dignified video, why should we as an audience take it seriously?

It’s why this video depresses me. I can laugh at the absurdity of it, but I can’t laugh at Lopez’s attempt to stay young, vibrant, and sexual. After all, we live in a society that puts all three of those qualities in a woman above anything else.

It’s sad that this is Lopez’s attempt to remain within a crowd now dominated by artists like Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj, and Ariana Grande.

She’s better than this as an artist and she’s paid her dues to the industry she’s now celebrated in.

Please Lopez, you’re not Jenny from the block anymore. You haven’t been in a very, very long time.

Let Minaj and the other relatively new artists of the world find their place in this world, and sit upon the golden throne you’ve worked tirelessly to take reign of.

You don’t need to make a mark on the world, especially through grungy music videos.

You’ve already far succeeded that world.

Drake’s upcoming single ‘Views From the 6′ leaks online

- August 22nd, 2014

Drake’s new album cover and it’s first “official” track have just been leaked, meaning the fall rap battle season is in full swing.

Kanye, give us a little something something, huh?

The single (and apparently title track), “Views From the 6,” was posted late Friday night on YouTube by a user who goes by the name, “The Hop Hop 24.”

According to reputable sources on Twitter, the anonymous YouTube user is the previously unheard of rapper E Batt – the featured artist on Drake’s new track.

It becomes abundantly clear within just mere seconds of listening to the track that it’s not the final product, not by a long shot. It sounds like it’s missing its main drum beat, and it’s a little light on the bass side when compared to other Drake songs.

The lyrics are adequate at best, and coming in at precisely three minutes feels a little too short. After all, this is an artist who’s able to create a nearly perfect six minute song like, “The Real Her.”

Despite its obvious flaws, however, it’s most certainly a Drake song at its core. It’s the kind of track that grows on you with every new listen, so I can only imagine what the final track will actually sound like once a proper version of the song or album is leaked…eventually.

The most disappointing part of the track comes in the form of said aforementioned previously unheard of rapper E-Batt. His tone is monotonous and reminiscent of hundreds of other wannabe rappers coming up in the game right now.

Drake has always been the kind of artist to work with big names while promoting smaller talents he’s discovered on the side (remember the Weeknd?), much like Kid Cudi did with Man on the Moon Part II, but this baritone heavy rapper won’t be making any lasting impressions on the scene.

Except, perhaps, as the man leaking Drake songs on YouTube, no matter how much he protests he’s not.

drake-album

The real travesty of this whole situation comes in the form of an angry red, poorly Photoshopped album cover.

It’s hard for the Toronto skyline to stand tall and proud when it’s doused in a red light that belongs in a photography studio’s darkroom and covered with a slightly transparent owl.

I get it Drake, you want to promote Toronto and OVO as being a cohesive unit, but using an abhorrent design choice is certainly not the way to go about doing it.

Hopefully, the album cover posted above isn’t the final version of the design, much like the track bundled with it.

Drake’s Views From the 6 is due out sometime later this year.

Watch the Muppets take on The Beastie Boys

- August 13th, 2014

Finally, Beaker has more to say than just “meep meep.”

Thanks to a new YouTube mashup, we get to see Animal, The Swedish Chef and Dr. Honeydew’s skittish lab assistant in a whole new light: as hip hop stars “rapping” to The Beastie Boys’ 1992 hit So What’cha Want.

muppetsjam

Watch the clip below of the trio, who look like they really let loose on St. Paddy’s Day.

And, for reference, here’s the original:

This isn’t the first time fans have used old Muppets footage to create a puppet rap performance online. Back in 2008, Bert and Ernie were shown dancing their way through “Ante Up” – an R-rated track by hardcore rappers M.O.P.  It’s not for kids, but it’s hard not to laugh at nice, timid Bert rapping about robbing and kidnapping a  “fool.” This clip has over 9 million views.

Warning: Offensive language ahead:

Foo Fighters give fans teaser of new album

- August 8th, 2014

“ALLLLL RIIIIIIIIISE!!!!!”

Yup. That’s it. The first eight, intense seconds (listen below) of Foo Fighters’ eighth studio album has been released by Dave Grohl and co. today. It is 8/8, after all.

Did anyone expect a ballad to kick it off? Dave is at his screamo best, leaving us hanging and desperately waiting for the band to kick it into high gear, but alas, it doesn’t happen. You bunch of teases.

The band will release their as-yet-untitled 13th album in November, with more details to be revealed on Monday.

dave

Producer Butch Vig describes the effort as “epic,” according to NME. The release will be accompanied by a Dave Grohl-helmed mini-series Sonic Highways, which will document the recording progress.

Kanye West’s latest track leaks

- August 2nd, 2014

Kanye West is a high class performer.

Whether you hate the man or love him, he goes the extra mile, takes every available precaution, to make sure his upcoming work isn’t leaked too far in advance.

Turns out, it didn’t work out very well for him this time around.

This snippet of a track called “All Day” off his upcoming album was leaked on Saturday thanks to some mischievous teen who managed to smuggle his cellphone into a club West was performing at.

Warning: The following video contains coarse language that may be offensive to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised. 

Although there’s no information on the specific location where the audio was recorded, my bets are on a club in Birmingham sometime at the beginning of July.

It was during his stay across the pond that West was rumoured to be performing unheard tracks at small venues after playing the Wireless Musical Festival.

West also admitted in an interview with GQ that he wanted to release his new album, the followup to 2013′s incredibly successful Yeezus record, later this fall.

Listen to it now, boys and girls, before West and his lawyers manage to remove it from the internet entirely.

Or at the very least, try to remove it.