Bands get back together for a myriad of reasons, with the main one being the lure of the almighty dollar.
Some reunions have been hits. Soundgarden reformed and released a well-received album and their accompanying tour was a hot seller, Alice in Chains soldiered on valiantly without late-frontman Layne Staley, and Van Halen’s recent North American jaunt with David Lee Roth back in the fold proved to be a commercial success (even though the album tanked).
With the news of Zeppelin possibly getting the Led out once again in 2014, here’s a short rundown of some the groups we think should get back together and the ones that should keep their gear packed away in storage.
Get back together now:
Rage Against the Machine
This is one of the greatest examples of a band who gave it all up at the height of their popularity. Why these guys aren’t back together is a head-scratcher. No one seems to know. Frontman Zach de la Rocha isn’t exactly busy these days and the rest of the band members are all for a reunion.
Reunion probability: 7/10
The Smiths
They’ve been offered millions to play various festivals, but for guitarist Johnny Marr and frontman Morrissey, it’s all about keeping the cult favourites’ legacy in tact. Oh, and the nasty lawsuits brought on by the other two guys. “I would rather eat my own testicles than reform The Smiths, and that’s saying something for a vegetarian,” Morrissey once said.
Moving on….
Reunion probability: 0/10
Oasis
They haven’t had a great album in over a decade, but the high entertainment value of brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher battling it out while on tour is immeasurable. Mom almost had them back together last Christmas, so we think the odds are high that we’ll see them back again, most likely with a hockey referee.
Reunion probability: 7/10
Guns ‘N Roses (original lineup)
We don’t think there’s a rock fan in the world that wouldn’t want to see Axl Rose, Slash, Duff McKagan, Izzy Stradlin and Matt Sorum back in the studio and back on stage together. But if the fightin’ fivesome couldn’t make an appearance for their Rock Hall induction, the chances of anything else happening is remote. Jack Daniels could possibly help.
Reunion probability: 1/10
Talking Heads
The band reunited on stage for the first time in 18 years for a one-off, three-song gig at the 2002 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony, and they sounded as tight as ever. There’s no reason why the quartet wouldn’t translate into the studio as well, if they would ever kiss and make up.
Reunion probability: 3/10
Please stay away:
The Police
Ex Sex Pistols leader John Lydon’s infamous “Do you ever feel like you’ve been cheated?” line resonated with us while they belted out a lacklustre set at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto back in 2007. They were listless, uninspiring and devoid of any passion. The kicker was Sting having his handler serve him hot tea during the show. How rock n’ roll.
Reunion probability: 5/10
Spice Girls
The fascination over the British girl group still confounds us. Rumours of their inevitable reunion spring up on a weekly basis, with the main holdout being Victoria Beckham due to her popular fashion line. Let’s hope that particular endeavour continues to be a success.
Reunion probability: 8/10
INXS
Talk about feasting off of the dead. The Aussie group, who were at one time one of the biggest bands in the world, tried to re-attain that status in the tackiest of ways by doing a reality show called “Rock Star: INXS” in a feeble attempt to replace their deceased frontman Michael Hutchence. What they ended up with was Canuck singer J.D. Fortune, who has been a sideshow himself. At least Michael isn’t around to witness their legacy slowly implode.
Reunion probability: 9/10
The Rolling Stones
They’ve never officially broken up, so this technically shouldn’t count, but having to endure Mick Jagger pounce around the stage like a geriatric buffoon leaves us with the willies. Yes, they make a lot of money on tours that fans inexplicably pay top dollar for, but that’s no reason to continuously embarrass themselves every five years.
Reunion probability: 10/10
The Eagles
No one deserves this. Especially your pocketbook.
Reunion probability: 7/10
What are some acts that you’d like to either see get back at it, or leave it well enough alone? Leave a comment below!
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