When embattled Toronto mayor Rob Ford pulled up to City Hall a few weeks back blasting the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive” in his car, it got me wondering what other poignant songs he has on his playlist.
And since I don’t wade into politics too much here (I’m just the music guy), I thought I’d make some healthy (and some unhealthy) suggestions for RoFo and his musical menu.
Ford’s here to stay until October — unless he goes out in handcuffs or a gurney – so play along at home and switch up these gems as the saga unfolds. And feel free to enter your own personal requests in the comments section below!
Here we go:
Rehab, Amy Winehouse
This fairly obvious one (which is why we have it loaded up first) could be the theme song to his last few years in office. After all, what’s wrong with having a few beers in the basement? Yeah…
All Apologies, Nirvana
Sorry seems to be the easiest word for Rob Ford these days, so what better tune to have commemorate his blanket apologies than this classic from Kurt Cobain and company.
Because I Got High, Afroman
Suggested alternate lyrics include “I was gonna go to a public bathroom, but then I got high,” or “I was gonna go to City Hall and save taxpayer’s money, but then I got high.”
I Got High by Afroman on Grooveshark
Liar, Henry Rollins
“I’ll come to you like an affliction/and I’ll leave you like an addiction/you’ll never forget me/you wanna know why?cause I’m a liar.”
Maybe RoFo should, instead of rehab, have a little sit-down with the former (and very intimidating) ex Black Flag frontman and scare him into tip-top shape.
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother, The Hollies
This one comes as a special request from his loyal brother, Doug Ford.
“So on we go/His welfare is of my concern/No burden is he to bear/We’ll get there.”
Pass the tissue and a cool bevvy.
Just a Friend, Biz Markie
We all were witnesses to RoFo’s colourful denial of sex with a staffer. Hell no, claimed Rob, he said she’s just a friend. Chow down on this hip-hop masterpiece.
Drugs in My Pocket, The Monks
This 1980 hit by the U.K. band is dedicated, via this column, to Rob Ford’s “driver” and go-for Sandro Lisi.
Sorry For Party Rocking, LMFAO
Rumour has it that this particular song was playing at Toronto’s Bier Market when Rofo decided to shake his ass on the dance floor on St. Paddy’s Day a few years ago. Very fitting.
The Shape I’m in, The Band
This could also serve him well as he works out with his “personal trainer.”
The Gravy Train, Ian Brown
“It ain’t cocaine running through your veins/Beluga caviar on the Gravy Train/It ain’t cocaine as you sip champagne/As you toast high times on the Gravy Train.”
Is this the gravy train that Rob Ford speaks of so eloquently?
Workin’ For the Weekend, Loverboy
When Ron Burgundy hilariously did a salute (see below) to Rob Ford on Conan by singing Loverboy’s classic hit (or as Burgundy explained, Ford’s “campaign song for his re-election”), it became a shoo-in for this list.
Cocaine, Eric Clapton
This stupor song from Slowhand is the perfect way to end the list for obvious reasons. That is all.
The best of the rest:
Fight the Power, Public Enemy; One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer, George Thorogood; White Lines, Grandmaster Flash; Blurred Lines, Robin Thicke; Livin’ on the Edge, Aerosmith; One for the Road, Arctic Monkeys; Tear In My Beer, Hank Williams Sr.; Brother Down, Sam Roberts; I’m Goin’ Down, Bruce Springsteen; Too Drunk To F***, Dead Kennedys; Gin & Juice, Snoop Dogg; Smoke It, Dandy Warhols; F*** Tha Police, N.W.A; Changes, David Bowie; Maggot Brain, Funkadelic; 10 Crack Commandments, Notorious B.I.G.; Crack Music (feat. The Game), Kanye West; The Pee Song, Donovan; Crack, 2 Chainz; I Want to Take You Higher, Sly and The Family Stone; Roadhouse Blues, The Doors; Ramble On, Led Zeppelin; Call Me, Blondie, Feel Good Hit of the Summer, Queens of the Stone Age.